I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
