I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
