i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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