I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize