I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
