We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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