ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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