just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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