with your own penis?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
accomplished twins. life is a go
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
As shirtless as possible
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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