WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
