If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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