He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
