You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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