I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
