I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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