What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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