sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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