Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
