..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
