They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
