Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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