This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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