if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry