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Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
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