Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.