Are you guys doing anything tonight?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why