I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
