I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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