if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
