so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
