i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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