Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
