I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me I should be a condom model.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Randomize
