I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
