If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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