Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
