the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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