I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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