I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
