I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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