So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
