meet me or not, i'm out of control
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
