dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
