By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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