i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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