she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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