I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
