We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
