Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
