Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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