i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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