nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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