omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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