Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize