Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
