At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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