So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you didnt know i had herpes?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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