Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
