This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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