make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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