My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
