Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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