You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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