i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize