she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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