i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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