I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
