he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im holly from the hills drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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