i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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