whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
