my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
