i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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