You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
