Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
