do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
